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to my dearest Can
Some names carry the weight of the universe within them, and yours is one of those names,
Can. A name that now echoes in my heart in two different yet inseparable melodies. One, the laughter of a child who has given my life a meaning I never knew I was missing. The other, a whisper from the past that still lingers, that still aches, that still loves.
Can, my son, you are the light that found me in the dark. From the moment you came into my life, I knew love in a way that words fail to describe. You were never born from me, but you were always meant for me. Every time I hear you call me, every time your tiny hands reach for mine, I know I have found a love that transcends everything. You are my heart walking outside my body, the most beautiful piece of my soul.
And then there’s the other Can, the one who once held my heart in a different way. The one who left, but never truly left. The one whose name still burns on my lips, whose absence I still feel in places I didn’t know could ache. If you ever read this, if you ever wonder, let me say it here, as openly as I can, I still love you. I never stopped. And I don't think I ever will.
It is strange, isn’t it? That love can take so many shapes and still remain the same at its core. That a name can belong to two souls, each so different yet both holding my heart captive. In some way, you are both my fate.
To my little Can, I promise to love you, to cherish you, to protect you as long as I live.
Posted 4/9/2025, 1:00 AM