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1618. musings.. or more?

unlike most people, he found no solace in the fact that he had never had to question his place in life. he was the one who worked on his own, brow furrowed, a perpetual frown giving him early wrinkles.

he wasn't the type of person who commanded any sort of attention from anyone and he felt blessed whenever someone stopped to consider him. otherwise, he remained along the wall, in the shadows, quietly observing. it wasn't by choice, but was more by design. compared to his twin brother, he was the one who had to be low-key. he was the one with the kill count, after all.

felix couldn't do the things that yvan had done. he wouldn't. and yvan would never fault him for such a thing. felix had his own dreams that he chased, his own happiness with his girlfriend. they were honestly sickeningly cute, from what felix had told him occasionally when the two of them hung out.

yvan felt nothing but jealousy, though. he would hide it behind a mask of support, as if the claws of the green-eyed monster weren't already sunk into his brain. he would always be his older brother's supporter, though, and although he had accepted that he was nothing but a murderer and a freak, he wondered if there sometimes wasn't more he could do.

gossip in the family traveled quickly. he knew felix would have to have a marriage of convenience. it didn't seem like anyone else in the family had reacted whatsoever. yvan's first thought was that he could take felix's place. they looked alike, didn't they? but no, felix couldn't do the things yvan did, he couldn't go on the jobs yvan went on.

people would catch on too quickly.

and yvan knew his place in the family. he knew where he belonged, quiet, observant, ready to aim and take a shot.

but discontentment was bubbling under the surface. he wanted to sacrifice for his brother. he would never be chosen to run the organization once their father no longer could, but he could easily marry for convenience... right?