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holding too tight, loving too deep.

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Jae struggled in the quiet spaces where love was supposed to be gentle. respecting Crimmy's boundaries did not come from a lack of care, nor from disregard. it came from the simple truth of who Jae was. his instinct had always been to hover, to watch every breath Crimmy took as if the world itself might reach out and bruise him the moment Jae looked away. he had learned to manage himself, learned to step back, to give Crimmy room for personal growth, for new interests, for a life that did not revolve entirely around his shadow. still, that restraint never changed the ache settled in his chest.

Jae did not want control to feed his ego. he wanted it because protection felt like love in its purest form. in his mind, Crimmy belonged safest in the center of his palm, held steady while the world raged around them. the world was too sharp, too careless, and too cruel for someone as soft as Crimmy, and Jae carried that belief like a wound that never closed.

often, he questioned himself in the late hours. did he have to let his boy do anything he wanted, simply because that was what healthy love demanded? Jae knew the answer. he knew freedom was not abandonment and trust was not neglect. yet knowing did not silence the urge to pull Crimmy closer, to shield him from every possible harm.

Jae's love was excessive, obsessive, and possessive in ways he constantly tried to soften. he wanted to consume Crimmy, to wrap him in cotton pads and keep him untouched by anything unkind. so Jae reminded himself again and again that love was not a cage, even when every part of him longed to make it one, built only for protection.

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