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How Not to Heal | #LasEastham

Birds sing in the freshly begun carioca afternoon. It’s one of those warm days when people usually go for a morning run, sunbathe at the beach in the afternoon, hit the gym until nightfall, and finally end the day with a walk, enjoying the salty sea breeze.

Alayna does none of that. As the years go by, the once outgoing brunette grows increasingly withdrawn. After a brief swim in the Castelo Eastham pool, she skims through one of those books written by a guy who teaches you how to feel and think despite having two divorces and a bad relationship even with his pets. Aly wants to understand why socializing feels so difficult, especially with men. The book speaks to her unconscious, tracing back to her childhood, to that (nonexistent) father figure she evokes when men enter her life, to what she seeks in what she lacked, and how she must extrapolate her feelings into her desires.

Alayna shuts the book and tosses it aside. All of that reeks of hippie talk, and she’s too grown up for universal manifestations, deconstructions of traditional models, and all the rest. A song plays through her headphones, and the Eastham closes her eyes, relaxing in her deck chair before the girls get home from school.

Resigned to the idea that the man of her dreams died the moment she woke up, she orders alcohol. Lots and lots and lots of alcohol. Champagne won’t be her Prince Charming, but maybe that book will make more sense once she’s drunk.

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